


My Name

by charlottefrey



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, star wars the last jedi
Genre: It's based off the lyrics, M/M, TLJ Spoilers, have fun I guess, something i felt like writing after listening to Shinedown's My Name, sort of a fix it of everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 06:37:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13141131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charlottefrey/pseuds/charlottefrey
Summary: Armitage Hux has spent all of his life being used as a mere paw, as a punching bag. And he has every intention of repaying the favours.





	My Name

**Author's Note:**

> This is just sort of a thing I wanted to write... I needed to let out all the feelings I have for my poor baby Armie.   
> The fic based on Shinedown's My Name.

  “What’s your name boy?” 

His father towered over him, a boy of merely seven years. Blood dripped down his lips and his nose hurt. He knew Brendol had broken it again in his fit. It wouldn’t be the last time the boy knew. And it certainly wasn’t the first. 

  “No one.” 

The boy looks away from his father, who turns and leaves the room, turning off the light as he goes.

 

_____

 

_ Worthless _

This word bounced around his Armitage’s head while he walked behind his father and his friends. With every step it became louder and louder in his mind until he could barely take it any longer. Before he completely lost his composure, the group stopped in front of the large blast doors leading to the throne room of Supreme Leader Snoke. 

  “Remember what I told you,” Brendol said without even looking at his nineteen-year old son. 

  “Yes father,” Armitage replied and resisted the urge to pull a face. 

He knew his father would sense it and punish him later for his insuboridance. Armitage winched when he remembered the last beating.

The blast doors swished open and the First Order officers marched in, he and another young officer making up the rear. The red walls were unsettling as well as the masked, armoured and armed guards flanking the Supreme Leader Snoke. 

His father’s back straightened when they stopped at the foot of the throne. For a second Armitage was tempted to kick the man in the back just to humiliate him. 

_ My name is worthless like you told me I once was _

 

_____

 

_ Empty _

The silence in the room next to the interrogation chamber was heavy. Brendol’s hands rested on his son’s shoulders, the fifteen year old crying silently. Through the one way mirror he saw his minder, four years older than him, being tortured for telling Armitage he liked him as something more than a friend. 

Armitage had felt the same way about him and their tender love developed from there on. The second Brendol heard about his son’s insubordination he had come, swooping in like a predatory bird and ripped them apart. 

Now Armitage had to look at his lover’s bloodied face, contorted in pain. 

  “Why,” Armitage choked out. 

  “Because you have to learn that love has no place in the military.” 

Brendol’s hand tightened around Armitage’s shoulders when another device descended on the boy’s body. Trying to fight his father, Armitage opened his mouth. 

And screamed in terror when he heard his lover’s pained scream.

_ My name is empty since you drained away the love _

 

_____

 

_ Searching _

Armitage stared into the darkness of space with it’s blinking lights and distant suns. His breathing was even and his mind wandered. It was one of the rare moments of peace during his new life as General. 

His father was a distant reminder of his trauma and a looming figure over everything he did and had done. A reminder, he wanted to be rid of sooner rather than later. How he could hate his parent so much was beyond him.

His mother’s green eyes came to his mind unbidden and he felt as if the air in his lungs froze. She wanted to get rid of him and it got her nowhere other than her grave. Armitage still remembered the day of the fight, the day he lost his mother, a shining star in a vast emptiness. Arabel was gone, forever and Armitage still blamed himself, even after years. 

Even though he hadn’t pulled the trigger, even though it had not been him who had refused to order a med droid. Even though it wasn’t his fault that there had been no proper burial for the mortal remains of Arabel. 

He had been but a bystander to all this, barely ten years old. It was all Brendol’s doing but the boy still blamed himself.

His father would pay for what he had done.

_ My name is searching since you stole my only soul. _

 

_____

 

_ Hatred _

Brendol stands at the window overlooking the vast garden and sighs when he hears the door open and close.

  “What do you want son?” 

He hasn’t addressed Armitage by name or title since a few years now.  _ Son _ seems to be enough in his mind. Armitage is furious about that. He refuses to be treated like a boy. 

  “Just a few things father,” he replies with contempt. “Only a few things.” 

  “Make it quick.” 

Brendol finally turns, his face grey as the hair hanging over his dry skin. Armitage smiles a cruel smile and takes a few more steps into the room. Resting his hands on his father’s shoulders he nods. 

  “It will be quick,” he assures him.

Without another warning, his hands slip around Brendol’s neck. The old man opens his mouth to scream, but the grip is unrelenting.

Just like Brendol had been during all those years. 

His father gasps for air, clawing at Armitage’s uniform trying his best to fight his only son. It doesn’t bother Armitage, his hands grip even tighter around the fragile throat of the dying man. He feels nothing but remorse for not doing it earlier. For not ending it all earlier. 

When the body stops jerking, Armitage lets go. He looks down on the corpse and nods to himself. 

  “I don’t need a gun to take back what’s mine.” 

_ My name is hatred and the reasons we both know.  _

 

_____

  
  


_ Screaming _

The pain radiated through Armitages body when it hit the ground. It’s only a background noise to the turmoil in his mind. The Supreme Leader was furious about the death of Commander Hux. Armitage had felt that anger as it burned every cell in his system while Snoke raided his mind.

He felt used when he picked himself from the ground. There was no support from Kylo, as it was expected. Armitage was able to live with the shame of being humiliated by Snoke. It had become part of his daily life. The throne room was silent when he turned to the Supreme Leader. 

The leathery, scarred skin reminded him of how his father looked in death, pathetic and old. In this moment there is nothing he wished more than to one day see Snoke that way. He quickly banished the thought, not wishing another mental attack.

  “Anything else you want to tell me?” He asked instead.

  “That was all. Let’s hope I won’t have to hear you screaming the next time I summon you,” Snoke replied and waved a hand dismissively. 

Armitage turned on his heels and walked past Kylo. He pulled a face at the Knight. Kylo stared at him without moving a muscle. 

The blast doors swished close behind him and he rubbed a hand over his face, the phantom pain not quite leaving his body. Armitage straightened. One day he might be able to spit on Snoke’s dead body. He hoped that day would be soon.

_ My name is screaming like the sound of your heart failing. _

 

_____

 

_ Loco _

The throne room was burning and everything was in shambles. The guards were all dead, scattered over the floor along with debris and burning parts of the back drop. Kylo laid in the middle of it all, unconscious. Armitage frowned at the mess in front of him. He knew that Kylo had let the scavenger girl escape again. 

As he wandered over to the throne he smirked to himself. This was the end of Snoke then. Cut in half with a stupid expression on his wrinkled face. Good riddance, Armitage thought to himself without the slightest remorse. He leaned over the corpse and spat, disgust filling his veins. He kicked the remains of his former commander and smirked again.

His eyes fell back on the unconscious Kylo Ren. His hand slipped to his blaster. He knew it would only take so much to kill him now. He imagined himself on that throne and how he would rule the galaxy instead of a Force user.

Kylo moved and got up, the moment had passed. 

Later he wished he would have done it. His throat was sore and bruised. 

_ My name is loco like the motive that betrayed me _

 

_____

 

_ Revenge _

Luke Skywalker was gone and dead, the Resistance slipped through their fingers. Supreme Leader Kylo was furious. And he let it all out on Armitage, slamming him into the wall of the speeder again and again. 

The pain wasn’t the worst. More the feeling that he deserved it somehow. Armitage gasped against the grip of the Force around his throat when Kylo held him against the wall, feet only inches from the ground. He felt tears dripping down his cheeks. Brendol must’ve felt like that when Armitage had strangled him.

He found it would be a rather fitting ending, the son following his father’s very footsteps, even in death. Thankfully the pressure was gone all of a sudden and he hit the steel floor. 

With one hand he rubbed his throat, the other was used to steady him as he got up. He looked directly at Kylo.

  “I am  _ not _ your punching bag. I refuse to be used as such,” Armitage said, his voice rough.

  “What if I don’t?” Kylo asked threateningly and stepped closer, looming over Armitage.

  “It only takes little to kill a Supreme Leader as you’ve proved today. Maybe next time it’s your body I spit upon,” Armitage said with a sharp smile.

  “Are you threatening mutiny?” Kylo asked and this time it was his real hand that closed around Armitage’s throat. 

  “No. Merely that one wrong step and your hybris will kill you,” Armitage said and pressed his blaster against Kylo’s stomach. “I won’t be your punching bag.” 

With a rough shove, he freed himself. Kylo stared at him, his eyes wandering Armitage’s face and body. They stopped at the blaster in his hand for a second, contemplating. 

  “You don’t have much against me,” Kylo said with contempt. 

  “Yet I murdered my own father, long before you had the mere  _ idea _ to do it,” Armitage stepped closer and stared up at Kylo. 

  “Commander Hux was vital in the chain of command.” 

  “Yet the Academy still runs smoothly under new supervision,” Armitage said sharply. “It’s over. I refuse to let you drag me down. That was Brendol’s job. That was Snoke’s job.” 

  “I must say, you have guts,” Kylo said and with a wave of his hand, the blaster flew out of Armitage's hand. “I respect that.” 

  “Let’s hope it stays that way,” Armitage replied and turned away from Kylo. 

Without retrieving his blaster, he returned to the bridge to order retreat. 

_ My name is revenge and I am here to save my name  _

 

_____

 

  “ _ What is your name boy _ ?” 

It was just a dream he told himself as he looked up to the man towering over him. Brendol’s face was twisted, a mixture of memories that didn’t quite add up. Young and old at once. 

The room was black and it felt as if he floated above ground. Brendol’s figure twisted into someone else’s. Snoke’s face smirked down on him and something twisted inside Armitage’s chest further. 

  “ _ What is your name soldier _ ?”

The darkness surrounding him repeated it in whispers, growing louder with each pass. The face staring at him changed, flipping between Brendol’s and Snoke’s features.

  “ _ What is your name boy? What is your name soldier? What is your name boy? What is your name soldier?” _

  “My name is… Armitage Hux.” 

With that he raised the blaster in his hand and pulled the trigger. 

The shadowy figure disappeared in a puff of black smoke. Then he fell, through the blackness and further on. Armitage closed his eyes and let it happen. 

He woke with a start. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, giving kudos and please leave a comment.


End file.
